Working out where you are
Is it time for aged care?
If a quiet voice keeps asking whether Mum or Dad needs more help, that voice is usually worth listening to. There's rarely one dramatic moment — more often it's a slow accumulation of small worries. Here's how to read the signs, raise it gently, and take the one step that helps most.
The signs it might be time
None of these alone means residential care is needed — but a few together usually means it's time to get support in place, starting with in-home help.
Falls, or a near-miss
Even one fall, or "I just had a little slip", is the most common trigger. Repeated falls usually mean home is no longer safe.
Weight loss, or the fridge tells a story
Skipping meals, out-of-date food, living on toast and tea — eating well alone gets hard.
Medications missed or muddled
Pills left in the dosette, doubled up, or "I can't remember if I took it" — a real safety risk.
Hygiene or the home slipping
Wearing the same clothes, unwashed, a once-tidy home now cluttered or unclean.
Confusion, getting lost, or wandering
Repeating questions, missing appointments, getting lost on a familiar route, or leaving the stove on.
Withdrawal and isolation
Stopped seeing friends, not answering the phone, low mood — loneliness harms health.
The carer is exhausted
If you or another family member is burning out, that's a sign too. You matter in this.
You're not "putting them away". You're keeping them safe.
Almost every family feels guilt here. It's a sign of how much you care, not a reason to wait. Getting the right support in place — whether that's help at home or a good residential home — is one of the most loving things you can do, for them and for you.
The one thing to do now
Register with My Aged Care (1800 200 422) and book a free ACAT assessment — even if you're not ready to decide anything. It's free, it commits you to nothing, and it unlocks subsidised support if and when you need it. The waits can run into months, so getting in the queue early is the single best move you can make. You can always say no to help later.
Want a hand working out what's needed?
Not sure whether it's in-home help or a residential home, or where to even begin? Tell us a little and we'll point you to the right next step — and connect you with a placement specialist if you'd like one. Free for families, no obligation, no spam. My Aged Care (1800 200 422) is always free too.
Thanks — we're on it.
We'll be in touch within one business day with a hand-picked shortlist of homes that fit. If it's urgent, you can also call My Aged Care on 1800 200 422.
Common questions
Is it time? — common worries
I feel guilty even thinking about aged care. Is that normal?
Completely normal, and almost universal. Please hear this: looking into aged care is not "putting them away" — it is making sure the person you love is safe, cared for and not isolated, which is one of the most loving things you can do. Many families say the guilt eased once their parent was somewhere safe, well-fed and around people. You are allowed to want help too.
My parent refuses to even talk about it. What do I do?
Start small and lead with their goals, not yours. Try: "I want you to be able to stay independent and safe for as long as possible — can we just find out what support is out there, so we know our options?" Frame it as information-gathering, not a decision. Involve their GP (a trusted voice), focus on one concrete worry (the falls, the meals), and consider getting an ACAT assessment booked — being assessed commits them to nothing. Resistance often softens once it's about staying in control rather than losing it.
What's the single most useful thing to do right now?
Register with My Aged Care (call 1800 200 422 or apply online) and book an ACAT assessment — even if you're not ready to decide anything. The assessment is free, commits you to nothing, and unlocks access to subsidised home care and residential care if and when you need it. Crucially, the waits for assessment and for funded home care can be months, so getting in the queue early is the best gift you can give your future self. You can always decline help later.
Does getting assessed mean they have to go into a home?
No. An ACAT assessment simply works out what level of support a person is eligible for. It can approve in-home support (Support at Home), residential respite, or permanent residential care — you choose what, if anything, to take up. Many people get assessed and then use in-home care for years before residential care is ever needed.